Thanksgiving: A CLOSED Letter To Those Who Struggle With This Holiday

Thanksgiving is my FAVORITE holiday.

If I could trade in a different holiday to celebrate Thanksgiving twice, I would.

With capitalism and the need for greed completely taking over all our available forms of media, it’s all about “buy, buy, buy” and now stores are open as early as 2pm on Thanksgiving DAY!


Like are we being serious right now?


This holiday could bring feelings of anxiety, stress, resentment, and other things that can cloud your joy. Family is tough and getting all of them together under one roof, or even multiple roofs can be more than enough for you to vow to never to celebrate this time of the year again.

I’m here to tell that is completely okay.

This entire year has taught me that family relationships are just that: relationships.

You are not obligated to force yourself or stay in any environment that would challenge your peace, joy, and/or mental health. Family can be just as toxic, sometimes even more toxic than romantic partners and friends. Black families are known to push abusive rhetoric and overlook their behaviors because it’s ‘family over everything.’ Removing yourself from that mindset, damaging situations and creating new traditions with those who offer you a safe space, especially during the holidays, is very important for healing and leveling up on your journey into the new year.

You are not obligated to mend any broken or abusive relationships for the sake of family and you can take as much as time as you need to forgive. And even if you feel that you can’t forgive the person for the abuse, get some help in order to find some peace and forgiveness within yourself.

No matter how many “If you’re anywhere else but with your family today, then you’re trash.” tweets you see, it is completely okay to not be with your family. Everybody’s relationships are different and everyone is built differently. Some people can handle their family no matter how high the stress while others can only do a short conversation, it is your choice.

For those who still want to connect with your family, but don’t know how to handle it…

  1. Breathe: You can do this. Even if it’s for an hour or two, if you want to see your family, go see them, and once you feel like you’ve hit your limit, politely excuse yourself and enjoy the rest of your holiday.

  2. Pray (prepare): If you are a religious person, pray to your higher being and ask for peace. I know that God always places this unexplainable peace over me whenever I know I’m going into a high-stress or possibly triggering environment.

Man or Woman, I am talking to you both. Your peace is one of the most valuable things you own and should be treated as such. Choose this holiday to take back control of your peace and double-down on your boundaries no matter how much push-back you may get. I love you and remember in life, there is always going to be love. Happy Holidays!